Playlist #4: The little girl was starving for entertainment
What do you write about when nothing of note (that you haven't written about before) happened? And where does that leave a guy left alone with his thoughts?
I tried many times to write this month’s post, but couldn’t really settle on something that’s satisfying, so let me talk about Spy × Family.
Yes, again. But I’m really just thinking of the initial characterization for Anya Forger. (Possible spoilers in the rest of the paragraph.) Not so much orphaned as abandoned, one of her early motivations is the need for excitement in her life—and she obviously gets it when she ends up in a fake family with a spy and an assassin. And thus, a catchphrase was born.
“わくわく” technically means “thrilling”, apparently, rather than “exciting”, but in a way it feels much more apt. The little girl was starving for entertainment, as the show’s narrator bluntly put it in the second episode. I suppose it’s better than trudging through the mundanity of daily life, especially when you’re all grown up and have to pay the bills.
Yeah, that also didn’t quite work as an introduction to this month’s playlist…
Really, though, little happened in the month covered by this playlist. Outside of a big event at work and, in the three days that followed, “my weirdest weekend ever”, not much really happened. I suppose that’s difficult for people like me who have to make content (whatever that means) on a regular basis and have to dig deep for something vaguely interesting or exciting. Perhaps it’s less so for those who don’t do that. It’s perfectly fine to just go through your daily lives and unknowingly embracing the mundanity that goes with it. Or, perhaps it’s more difficult, because we’re told that there should be more to life than paying bills and trying to survive. I mean, I get it, but you can’t always have that, right?
So, here I am, trying to write something about what has been, for the most part, an uneventful month. What else happened? I realized I’m so stressed out that my productivity is dipping, one. Not compelling enough. I marveled at the idea that I met the father of (arguably) a nepo baby who went viral on TikTok. Already covered that. What else… I got sick? Yeah, I got sick.
It’s not much, really. Just a cold, which always progresses to a cough, and last for under a week. It’s something I’ve gone through many times. It’s a faff, though, when you’re living alone, because you can’t just rest up and expect things to miraculously get done somehow. You still have to do the chores and get things done. You buy your own medicine. You cook your own meals. At least if I wanted to have some warm soup, I could, but it’s a struggle when you’re tired from all the coughing.
The catch was, I needed soup on a Friday, and I was attempting to do what good Catholics (I don’t consider myself one) in the Philippines do around the Lent: abstain from meat. I had sinigang na bangus—milkfish cooked in a tamarind-based broth—but I needed something for breakfast, and the only option I had that hits all the spots is a take on pho from Recovery Food, a 24-hour restaurant that happened to have a branch that’s minutes away from the flat. It did the job, but the situation was so absurd that I ended up posting about it online.
That night, I got a text from my younger brother. He was sending over ramen, a get-well-soon gift of sorts. It goes without saying that it’s a really nice gesture, but the fact that this sort of thing doesn’t always happen to me made its impact heavier. Or maybe it’s the loneliness and the low self-esteem I’ve been grappling with for the past few months, the stuff that ended up being heightened by the lack of “わくわく” in the weeks prior. Sure, it also meant I had to drop the whole meatless thing so I can have hot ramen—from my favorite place, Hanamaruken, which apparently also has a branch close to me—but who cares about that? I feel warm, figuratively and literally!
He sent over two bowls, so I had dinner for the next day sorted. (Yes, I know it’s not ideal to have ramen for takeaway, but again, at this moment, who cares about that?) Just as I finished that bowl, though, I got a phone call from a Grab rider. Food delivery, and one that I wasn’t aware of. Was it really for me? Yes, he said. Maybe it’s more stuff from my brother? Nope. Not from anyone else in the family either. And who else knows about my exact address outside of the folks at work, who don’t know that I’m sick to begin with?
It was more soup. Specifically, bak kut teh—pork ribs in broth, a Malaysian dish—from yet another restaurant that was minutes away from me. I failed to ask the rider who had it delivered… and then it hits me.
Fujiwara Sakura’s “Soup”, a song that I had written about seven years ago after stumbling upon it by accident, is perfect for the playlist.
And what about the rest of the songs?
Yeah, I shouldn’t have forced the essay now that nothing really happened, yeah?
I can split this month’s songs into two categories. The first are songs that I encountered (and, in some cases, followed me around) during Wanderland weekend—the three day I spent driving friends around, because getting around in Manila is a demeaning experience to those without a car. (Proof is just how many of us were waiting outside the Filinvest Event Grounds with our hazard lights on waiting for the Arctic Monkeys concert to end.) There’s a certain special something songs take on when they play as you’re driving around the city at one in the morning. It also helps that Taylor Swift’s “Style” always had a slight driving city-pop aesthetic going for it. The same (but less glittery) goes for Fleetwood Mac‘s classic “Seven Wonders”.
This dovetails nicely to this new trend towards more, uhh, “aesthetic” K-pop tracks. (I know I’m all for the evolution of language but I don’t like using “aesthetic” as an adjective. It’s a noun! But, apparently, I’m on the wrong side of history on this one.) Journalist Tamar Herman introduced me to the term “Kpopcore” in a recent entry and now I can’t get it out of my head as I plug into songs from Fifty Fifty (of course, everyone loves them) and Billlie (who are slowly taking over from Ive as my favorite fourth-generation act, although I have yet to listen to their just-released full-length). I’m also throwing in Purple Kiss’ pre-release “Can We Talk Again” because it finally caught me at the right time, and—just because it sounds good and thematically apt—Lovelyz’ “Getaway” from their 2014 album Girls’ Invasion. (I am clearly in a phase.)
Anyway, back to Wanderland. In the weeks that followed, I found myself being followed by certain songs. Phoenix songs, obviously. But I’ll throw a shout in for Raveena, who performed on the first day and who Aneen is a big fan of. (Lucky her, buying tickets before she joined the line-up.) I got around to listening to Asha’s Awakening at the end of the month and it is a nice little record; eclectic, esoteric, and cohesive all the same.
The second category is of songs that I’ve been returning to, and in at least one of them, Wanderland is the trigger. Nat and I met, after all, in the aftermath of (but not during) Keane’s only concert in Manila so far, back in 2012. I was telling her of how “This Is The Last Time”, from their 2004 debut Hopes and Fears, suddenly holds a different meaning considering the past year or so. (The same went for “Disconnected”, from their 2012 record Strangeland.) I have been digging back into the album the past few weeks; I’ll have more in a Hyperfocus feature next month.
A few more classics: the Eels track also resonated strongly last month, but then, I don’t really want to deluge you with another essay on how my self-esteem has been shattered and how lonely I’ve been feeling these days. That song was supposed to end the playlist, but then I played I Am Kloot’s “Proof” and thought that while it’s also thematically connected, it feels more upbeat, more optimistic. (It’s a shame Spotify only has the first version, though; I much prefer, and would rather include, the second version, from their Sky At Night album.) But then, every time I feel optimistic I am let down terribly. Last June, last September. What’s to say it won’t happen again?
I would say the next playlist should be live and in your inboxes on 15 May, but I have a feeling there will be one or two things going live by then. I’m giddy about those. We’ll see. As always, you can recommend a song to me by shooting an email to nicksyoncemonthly@gmail.com.
On the playlist
Raveena—“Kismet”
Asha’s Awakening (2022)Lovelyz—“Getaway”
Girls’ Invasion (2014)Fifty Fifty—“Cupid”
single release (2023)Billlie—“Eunoia”
The Billage of Perception: Chapter Three (2023)Taylor Swift—“Style”
1989 (2014)Fleetwood Mac—“Seven Wonders”
Tango in the Night (1987)Aly & AJ—“With Love From”
With Love From (2023)Fujiwara Sakura—“Soup”
Play (2017)Purple Kiss—“Can We Talk Again”
Into Violet (2021)Avalon Emerson & The Charm—“Sandrail Silhouette”
Avalon Emerson & The Charm (2023)Dizzy—“Sunflower”
The Sun and Her Scorch (2020)Evergreen—“Aidono”
Sign Out (2023)Phoenix—“J-Boy”
Ti Amo (2017)Courtney Barnett—“Crippling Self Doubt and a General Lack of Confidence”
Tell Me How You Really Feel (2018)Keane—“This Is The Last Time”
Hopes and Fears (2004)Eels—“Novocaine for the Soul”
Beautiful Freak (1996)I Am Kloot—“Proof”
Sky at Night (2010)