Playlist #17: Where I need to be is not where I want to be
When you haven't had a proper vacation in a while, you end up making the most of what you do have... and even then it's not enough.
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I was supposed to be flying to India.
It was a work thing. I wasn’t expecting it, but I was asked to go along, so go along I was. Supposedly. In the end, last-minute developments meant I was going to Puerto Princesa—a city in the island province of Palawan—instead.
I don’t mind, really. One, that was the original plan, and two, I haven’t been there before, so I was also looking forward to it. But I had already embraced the India plan. I had mapped out the flights. There are no direct ones between Manila and Delhi, so there had to be a stopover in Bangkok both ways. I would be going to two countries in one go, one I haven’t been to for a decade and a half (although it was really just going to be the airport, so does it count?) and one I haven’t been to at all. I would have some bragging rights within my family—and if you consider the Philippine passport is quite weak compared to an American one, or indeed, a Singaporean one, you’ll understand. “I got a visa to India!”
Well, at least I can still say I got the visa.
I was getting into understanding the mechanics of what can be loosely described as Indian pop, because really, it’s almost entirely made up of songs in their films. I was driving home from a meeting, actually listening to Indian radio. There goes Asha Bhosle, one of the greatest singers of Hindi cinema. (Shazam was helpful. I, of course, could not understand a word.) Brimful of Asha on the 45. I had been holding back on putting Cornershop’s “Brimful of Asha” on this playlist and the last one.
But, instead, I am on a ship to Puerto Princesa. It’s a work thing—same reason why I was on a ship when I put Playlist #6 together—and it was also fun. You manage to turn something into a positive, and I’m the guy who finds at least some satisfaction in my work, asking our participants some “Miss Universe questions” thinking that would help them really understand the concepts we were explaining to them. It all worked out fine. It’s a funny way of putting me in a place where I need to be, where I can change more lives, so to speak.
But I badly wanted something closer to a vacation. Sure, India was for work, but we were going to be hosted by some colleagues, which meant a lot less juggling, a lot less weight-lifting. I wrote in the last playlist about burn out, and I think I’m still there, albeit just a little more rested, because the event is over or something. But it never really ends, does it? You’ve done miracles now, so you’re expected to do more miracles the next time, and it goes on and on until you die, and even then you’re expected to make more miracles. Rise from the dead, I suppose.
So, this month’s playlist. Listening back to it, I realize it’s half-filled with songs thaty you might consider “quirky”. I’m thinking of Leyla McCalla’s “Scaled to Survive”, with those lovingly distorted guitars both obscuring and highlighting the sweet sentiment of the song. This is a song I wouldn’t otherwise discover if not for what I’ve been feeling lately: in an attempt to feel a little better, I actually listened to BBC Radio 3, which kinda helped, albeit not on the heatwave front.
Or what about the jumpy new (well, it’s a month old when you read this) single from Chvrches’ Lauren Mayberry, “Change Shapes”? I’ll confess, I haven’t really kept up with her solo stuff in recent months, but this does sound like a song that wouldn’t be made under the auspices of her old band because of how sparse it actually sounds. Not that Chvrches doesn’t sound upbeat; it just has to be dense. But this one, though, goes bam-bam, bam-bam, and I was hooked on first listen.
I think half of this month’s playlist lies in that spectrum where childlike innocence and being spaciously uptempo lie. I stumbled upon the Kid Koala track early last month and immediately paired it with one of my favorites from Melody’s Echo Chamber’s debut album. It’s why I finally have a new K-pop track on my playlists for the first time in a while: “UhUh” from newcomers Rescene works quietly but wriggled its way into my head the same way that Lauren Mayberry track did. And I’d be remiss if I don’t mention the joy from Sylvie Kreusch’s new single, which also shows that I haven’t quite left Belgian radio.
But the song that’s done its way in more than anything else in this playlist is from Japanese band Regal Lily, a song from the second half of the ongoing anime series Delicious in Dungeon. You know, the show that was supposedly about explorers eating monsters in a dungeon, but turns out to be a little more tightly plotted than that, which means the mindfuck that is the second half makes sense, still?
Anyway, I already like it because of its Britpop vibes—it reminds me of a slightly noisier the Sundays—but then I made the mistake of looking up the lyrics and realizing it’s a pretty sad song.
くちずさむのはいつもの羅針盤
I hum my usual compass
届かなくなった距離をうらんだ
And resented the distance that separates us
頬は化粧のにおい 化粧のにおいがして
The scent of make-up clung to my cheeks
キラキラのハイになって踊った
And I danced on a twinkling high
重力に逆らえずに踊った
I danced, unable to succumb to gravity
あの日を君を二度目はもう離さないよ
Next time, I won’t ever let go of you or that day
Sure, it’s optimistic at the end, and they take action at the end, but… I get sad before I can reach the happy part, and bam, a cloud hangs over me. That’s what you get when you have a song that goes really hard after quoting “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.
I guess I really do need a vacation. I am flying to Singapore next week. It’s work, again, but I think I can squeeze out a couple of free hours… but unfortunately, I was booked a budget airline, which is not good for my knees. That India trip was going to be an expensive airline, damn it.
My next playlist will drop on 14 June, and there should be some posts between this one and that one. Will there be a Plaka Note on 24 May? We’ll see. Will there be other posts as well? There just might be. Until then, I’ll be waiting for you at the socials, and you can always email me at nicksyoncemonthly@gmail.com.
On this playlist
Martha and the Vandellas—“Heat Wave”
Heat Wave (1963)Kid Koala—“When U Say Love”
Creatures of the Late Afternoon (2023)Melody’s Echo Chamber—“Be Proud of Your Kids”
Melody’s Echo Chamber (2012)Lauren Mayberry—“Change Shapes”
single release (2024)Rescene—“UhUh”
Re:Scene (2024)Jesus Jones—“International Bright Young Thing”
Doubt (1991)Nia Archives—“Crowded Roomz”
Silence is Loud (2024)Ariana Grande—“We Can’t Be Friends (Wait For Your Love)”
Eternal Sunshine (2024)Sylvie Kreusch—“Comic Trip”
single release (2024)St. Vincent—“Broken Man”
All Born Screaming (2024)The Kooks—“Always Where I Need To Be”
Konk (2008)Lilly Wood and the Prick—“Where I Want To Be (California)”
The Fight (2012)Caroline Polachek—“Butterfly Net” (featuring Weyes Blood)
Desire, I Want To Turn Into You (Everasking Edition) (2024)Carla Wehbe—“Introvert (With Extroverted Expectations)”
Jupiter and Mars (2023)Leyla McCalla—“Scaled to Survive”
Sun Without the Heat (2024)Laura Nyro—“Wedding Bell Blues”
More Than A New Discovery (1966)Regal Lily—「キラキラの灰」(Twinkling Ash)
single release (2024)